These days I'm at risk of losing my sanity. My mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical health are on the line. Weighing reasons why I should stay and why I shouldn't, it's only logical that I hand my resignation letter the next moment I step into my office.
I don't think I meet my boss's expectations, and like what most of my colleagues claim, my boss is never satisfied with anything. I feel the pressure to perform. What's worse, I have to find out that the turnover rate for my position is horrendous. I am expected to place clients above God.
Presently, while on the verge of giving up, I did a study on conforming to the world in Daniel. And in BSF, we did a study on Romans 12:1-2 this week. As a Christian, I should not adhere to the pattern of this world but keep my life in line with God's will; his good, pleasing and perfect will. And if this makes the sole reason for me to stay where I am, it outweighs all my reasons for leaving combined. For it is my desire to please God and not man.
It is true that I've never been so distressed and upset about work, of all things. Right now, I am confident that my all-knowing God is conscious of my trial. Nevertheless, I appreciate prayers for me while I walk through this tunnel.
A hymn that ministered greatly:
Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee,
swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee,
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose,
every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne,
it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee,
ever, only, all for Thee.
Muddled and unclear, conforming to the pattern of this world is the last thing I want to do now. But I have my confidence placed in God and not in me.
