A New Life

I've just realised the significance behind all that I've been learning in recent weeks. It's a single truth that was repeated from random readings, BSF study and sermons. 

It's quite hard to put it all in concrete words but I think the essence of it is God telling me that my existence is founded on Him. My life, my significance, purpose and whatever that defines me comes from Him. 

I am defined by the faith that is in Him, by the grace that was freely given to me. My existence is not founded upon my deeds, my weekly Christian commitments or my service. Rather, it is from the fact that I am redeemed. 

Galatians 2:20 was a highlight for me because the only reason for existence is for Christ. Any trace of living for myself just mean that that specific area has not be crucified. 

Do I want to be defined by my living and works or shall I be defined by Christ who came and gave his life for me.

And what would this mean? The only important thing then becomes Christ. Everything else does not matter anymore. Be it career, choice of marriage or single hood, ministry, or whatever aspect of life just doesn't seem significant anymore. And as Christ is the only definition left of my life, everything else is done is to ensure that Christ remains as the only definition.

Isaiah 14 God is good and is in control

Just recently met a friend whom I knew way back in church when I was still a youth. She had been through some event that caused her to become somewhat withdrawn and mental. I remembered how she seemed to have disappeared one day and was never contacted or had any follow up. Her visit reminded me of the people that formed the youth ministry when I was a youth. They filled my Sundays and shaped my spiritual life. But today, a good three quarters of them are no longer with us. Some even fell away and decided to abandon their worship. It is discouraging and I wondered about God's involvement in this. 

Genesis 37-38 assured me that God uses all events to his glory. Isaiah 14 kind of backed this point up. The Lord rescued Israel from their captors and in the same way The Lord delivers his people from their misery. 

It is amazing how God works even to our smallest needs and details. While fretting over the next space to rent for work, God reveals a place to us in Arab street, a place that have been crossing my mind except I've always been deterred by it because of the high rent. Someone is letting for a much lower price and in the exact same period that we'll need to move. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, this is proof that God surely knows our desires and needs and provides accordingly. How wonderful.

Psalms 46

Psalms 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God;

This psalm took a whole new meaning for me this morning. In my first observance, God takes all the action but I need only to be still and not fight with Him to take action. While God fights the wars out there, I only need to be still. 

This psalm is ultimately chiding me for being a control freak. There is over reliance on my ability and foresight against God's ability and plans. While asking Him to lead the way, I too make certain actions to fulfill a destiny that I myself want. God may have had a different destiny in mind or a different way he wants to lead me to the destiny.

Difficult as it will be, I will listen and obey rather than push a way that is my own.

A burden for God

I can imagine how grieving it is to God when he saw how Israel turn away from Him. It is infinitely many times more than the burden we have for our loved ones. 

The only possible thing we can do within the power given to us is pray. 

A key lesson from Genesis 24

I think no other lesson stood out as much as the one on Genesis 24 for most of us. It is very interesting how from Abraham's chief servant, some key principles of how we should seek God's will are drawn.

1. God's will is confirmed by right circumstances, backed up by scripture and receiving peace from God. Without one of these 3, it's good to halt and consider before taking another step into that decision.

2. When God reveals his will, the believe must take the step in faith and enter the door God has opened. It isn't quite right if one asks God for a direction and refuse to take it afterwards.

Dismayed

For the past many days, I've lived in utter disappointment, just being over-sensitive to any event that rings negative to me. Been disappointed for a while that neither Blue Tide nor my role in Hentak Kaki is being chosen to compete in the Singapore Short Film Awards. Today I got reminded of the awards and that upset me quite a bit. I remember I used to say that awards and whatever earthly gain film could bring you are pretty much nothing and short-lived. Turns out that awards do go a long way.

Remembered my quiet time last Sunday too that challenged me to be a "doormat". Basically, "it is one thing to follow God's way of service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a 'doormat' under other people's feet." That is so true. Service is so easy if you're regarded as a hero but extremely hard if no one seem to care, let alone step over your head to get higher. I definitely don't feel heroic at all, in fact, it is being left out, left behind, lousy, dejected, far from joy. Then the challenge question came. "Are you ready to be sacrificed like that? Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket - to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those u served?"

Somehow I feel like God is saying, "Nah. You're not gonna get a single award. Its the people whom you serve that'll get it." I feel really disappointed and at the same time resigned somehow. Because I don't find myself facing any light at the end of the tunnel. I should stop hoping and forget something that's never going to happen. I feel lonely, left-out or under-achieved in the midst of the award winners and nominees. Rather be by myself.

From suffering to hope

I found God's reassurance again this morning. In Romans 5:1-5

1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I realise that sufferings isn't something we should trudge through with complaints and moans about how bad life is. Paul said that we should "glory in our sufferings". I take that to mean that we should delight or rejoice in our sufferings, primarily because there is an end result that is glorious, and that is the eternal hope found in Christ.

I want to remember the refinement I am going through is to produce perseverance, character and hope in me. I know if I stick through it, I will rejoice at the end.

By Faith

This morning I woke up feeling lost and lonely already. I asked God if this was what he had in mind. If it is, it's going to take me a tremendous amount of faith. I know this is a time of testing. I'm being put through fire to be refined and purified. I told God I need the faith.

And I flipped to daily bread this morning and found Hebrews 11:23-31

23 By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.

24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27 By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28 By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.

29 By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.

30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days.

31 By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.

Many times we live and make decisions for the moment without looking at what's in the future. Moses disregarded momentary comfort for godly living. His choice wasn't easy, possibly harder than mine but he saw the reward. I need to look at what these troubled times would give me. I know at the end if I stick to it, I will be purer and holier.