I'm going mad.
I used to work with a nice designer. But yesterday, my boss dismissed him. I'm really upset about it, totally not at peace. Today, he tried talking another designer into resigning. So am I going to be next? I have no idea what my boss is doing but lately he seem to be taking everything out on us.
I'm halfway to lashing out. Hopefully it will never happen. My stress level is at it's limit, my patience wearing thin. Yesterday after firing the designer, my boss said a lot of nasty things to us in our weekly production meeting. It crushed every bit of morale I had left. All that hope and faith I held on to staying doesn't seem to pay off.
I had been discouraged once already, not too long ago. Now I'm discouraged again. I feel the motivation to leave more than stay. It didn't really help that Romans this week was on submitting to authority. So how should I submit to a dictator who expects us to place work above all else? He even told me on some Friday nights that Bible study is important but client has to come first. I was in a bit of disbelief. The week later he said to all of us that he'll like to see us go back on weekends to work on our projects. After which, he will suddenly state that no one is indispensable and we're free to leave if we're unhappy.
It's extremely disappointing for my Christian boss to be this way. From what most of us have observed so far, he dismisses anyone who opposes him and just gives the reason that this person isn't in sync with the company's vision and values. Honestly, what kind of reason is that suppose to be?
I am having a bad time right now. But at this point, I can't forget the Lord's faithfulness and it's something I need from God too. I have to learn to rejoice.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
