Yay. I got me a bookshelf from Ikea. So that my room is a better place to live in.

And to welcome it, I did some furniture shifting and discarding. I like my 'new' room. But somehow, there are so many more things to pack. I have Terence to thank. I think he went through deeper hell than me. I think if not for you, I'd still be playing pathetic amateur carpenter, still hammering the screws.I just have to admit that guys are better at this.

I shall elect another day for packing and discarding. For now, rest well oh my worn out hands and legs.

Rough day.

My start was my shoe sole falling off. It left me cursing. I hate my shoes in general cos they seem to wear out faster than others. Then thinking back on the times I got my heels stuck in holes in the ground and tripping over stones and pebbles, I wonder. Look, I can't help having shorter legs and therefore having to walk faster.

At lunch, I sneaked to Vivo and got 2 pairs of shoes, grudgingly. Yes I need retail therapy but this is nowhere near it. But, I like their designs and I hope they last.. forever.

What goes up and never comes down?

Work. It irks me more when i'm in between sniffles from my flu.

I am.. sick. I am afflicted.

So much for the emo weekend, this is the result.

I went for an expensive (I shan't name the price) haircut. Actually, there isn't any sensational change but somehow, I like myself better. For the next pamper, I shall go for a nice facial, when I bother to lift my hand to make that appointment that is.

I feel the need, for some retail therapy, but I shall wait. Dignity will discipline will not be lost!

Emo.

I hate today.

The shadow I had always tried to suppress surfaced. In my despair, I hit and injured Terence, broke his spectacles 
and drove him away.

Doing an exercise on relationship hit one nail too many and created an adverse effect.

Don't relationships take both hands to clap? Why should I do my part when the others just sit around assuming I'm happy with the unconcerned way they treat me? When actions take a bigger hit than they think, do they know? Do they care?

So I do not try anymore, to make so much effort to please people.

1 year.. and many more to come




 

Each time we meet, something like this happens

Nizhen: Alicia I did something stupid again.
Me: What.
Nizhen: I... (too confidential)
Me: (smacks forehead)..

Friends are people who can admit their occasional stupid behaviour, I guess.

The new year is hardly anything to look forward to, having 
broken my resolution for the upteenth time. And having 
nothing much to blog about, nothing exciting to talk about 
show how pathetic my life can be.

Anyway, entertaining me on my drudging train rides to work..

My name is Natasha. I have a great job at a top TV company, a beautiful penthouse flat... and I'm in love with a writer who already has a girlfriend.

My name is Sophie. I love my boyfriend. He is a very talented photographer, good-looking and we've been together for four years... Trouble is we still live in a hell-hole and he won't propose.

My name is Alicia. I have a loving boyfriend. He's talented 
and affectionate. But he's about the only one there. 

I stand in the cold gray weather,
In the white and silvery rain;
The great trees huddle together,
And sway with the windy strain.
I dream of the purple glory
Of the roseate mountain-height
And the sweet-to-remember story
Of a distant and clear delight.

The rain keeps constantly raining,
And the sky is cold and gray,
And the wind in the trees keeps complaining
That summer has passed away;
But the gray and the cold are haunted
By a beauty akin to pain,
By a sense of a something wanted,
That never will come again.

With the marvellous rain, lunch is a problem. But today we decided to brave through the weather for curry fish head.

We set out, 6 of us and 1 umbrella. (Don't ask). While 4 of us squeezed hopelessly in our one precious brolly, the remaining (being stubborn guys) walked as though they were waterproof.

So we walked and squealed endlessly for more umbrella space, me being the one pushed out all the time, and we reached the curry fish head store with my clothes damped, my feet soaked and my hair in frumpy clumps.

But all was forgotten when the food arrived and we enjoyed thoroughly.

 

The Song of the Oak
G.K. Chesterton

The Druids waved their golden knives
And danced around the Oak
When they had sacrificed a man;
But though the learned search and scan
No single modern person can
Entirely see the joke.
But though they cut the throats of men
They cut not down the tree,
And from the blood the saplings spring
Of oak-woods yet to be.
But Ivywood, Lord Ivywood,
He rots the tree as ivy would,
He clings and crawls as ivy would
About the sacred tree.

King Charles he fled from Worcester fight
And hid him in the Oak;
In convent schools no man of tact
Would trace and praise his every act,
Or argue that he was in fact
A strict and sainted bloke.
But not by him the sacred woods
Have lost their fancies free,
And though he was extremely big
He did not break the tree.
But Ivywood, Lord Ivywood,
He breaks the tree as ivy would,
And eats the woods as ivy would
Between us and the sea.

Great Collingwood walked down the glade
And flung the acorns free,
That oaks might still be in the grove
As oaken as the beams above,
When the great Lover sailors love
Was kissed by Death at aea.
But though for him the oak-trees fell
To build the oaken ships,
The woodman worshipped what he smote
And honoured even the chips.
But Ivywood, Lord Ivywood,
He hates the tree as ivy would,
As the dragon of the ivy would
That has us in his grips.

I love the Esprit bag you got me dear..

 

Today.

Colleague F: (slams phone) "arrgghh.. I hate talking to uneducated members. Waste of my time."

Yesterday.

Colleague F: Eh alicia. I can't read the book you borrowed me. Too chim.
Me: Har.. But then its the simplest novel I have.
Colleague F: Har.. But I don't understand what she talking.
Colleague D: You can't read the english book ah? Then can you read Chinese?
Colleague F: Not really.
Colleague D: That means you are illiterate! (brawls in laughter)
Colleague F: Har? What's that?
Me: ROFL

Amazing how the pot calls the kettle black. Note the 'educated' language and she doesn't know what illiterate means.

So mean of me but I can't help it.

Certain moments leave me thinking if I am the sort of person who should remain single. I thought I show my affection freely, but when I really think about it, I'm quite stone cold on the outside. I really can't help it.

I'm blunt at the wrong moments. Because of that I might have hurt more people than I think. Not like I can help it. What would you have me do if all my life people have been blunt without considering my feelings to start with?

So to live out the resolution I just made, I decided to be more talkative and friendly in the office. But nothing in the conversations benefit me. It's irksome the way some people talk sometimes and even what they talk about. And it even puzzles me that I could hold out for so long in a conversation that lowers my IQ too rapidly.

Finally its 2007.

It was a weekend of not too little or too many activities. I had fun.

I get my meiji bear after missing too many opportunities to go search for mine.





Its one for me, one for Ter, one for mom and one for dad.

I'm harboured in the pain of realising the aftermath I've caused my bank account. Buying too many presents and succumbing to all the sale and marketing strategies. Come on, who could resist a gorgeous cardigan going cheap in Mango? And nice jewellery going at half price in Diva? Sigh.. ok I mean it now when I say no more shopping and that includes books T.T

New year's eve
I had a great time with me good ol' Kaleo leaders. Pictionary is a smashing game. I thought I could draw but never mind. Actually I think I can, I just can't draw fast. At least I don't make ear muffs look like clouds with a rainbow.

10pm
I went to my cousin's with Ter and we played quoridor and Bridge. Perhaps new year's eve should be spent playing board games and cards and then laughing at each other's stupidity.

midnight
Happy New Year! We shouted across the block on the 20th storey. I was secretly hoping no one heard. Then we saw fireworks far away. Tiny but still beautiful.

3am
I want to die. I need to sleep. I reached home, dragged my feet to the toilet, forced my hands to brush my teeth and wash my face. And then collapsed.

1 Jan
I attempted Swedish meatballs. The frozen ones from Ikea. It was a success. It should be. So mom, dad and Terence enjoyed but as for me, I still felt like dying after waking up at 11.

4pm
Vivo City with mom! I haven't been shopping with her for a long time. Therefore, upon mom's many hints that she has never been to Vivo, we decided to go there for a walk. At the same time, grab the pair of Reef slippers I've been promising Ter for a long time.

8pm
Dinner at the Mussel Guys! I love the food and I promise to write a review of that place soon.

2 Jan
I caught Night at the Museum with Ter. It is what I'll call cute, funny, light-hearted.

I just realised that I am gonna turn 22 this year. It sucks. And I don't believe in new year resolutions because I think if you wanna do something right, you don't have to wait till new year. But since we're here and now that I think of it, I wanna be a nicer and neater person, not to mention more disciplined too.