I'm now starting a new phase of life as a single. I feel the struggle to trust God with my future. But it's only right to do so. Part of me can't wait. I can't wait to taste life as a single woman again, this time with a clearer direction in life and a greater sense of trust in God. So whoever my potential mates are, I need a year of freedom. I need the freedom for many reasons. The most important reason being that I don't make the same mistake again. That I examine the life of my future mate closely before making a conscious choice without letting emotion rule my head. And to be able to do that, I need singlehood and a trust in God that he has the right love-life or single life for me.
I struggle with the many things I feel the need to do in life. And I know many people out there oppose to what I truly feel my calling is. I want to pursue the possibility of contributing to the fight against human trafficking. At the same time, there's so much creative work I want to do. Writing documentaries and short films, conceptualizing ads of different kinds, being paid to do menial stuff on set, experiencing a Hollywood production, etc. The list hasn't stopped. I want to go to a film festival too. Right now I'm just hoping for Venice.
I know my dad still doesn't support me choosing to help fight against human trafficking and thinks that there're better things for me to do. I just hope some day, people will understand why others choose to fight against a huge giant simply because they believe strongly that it's their calling.
I feel like I had a tiff with the whole world. Just simply don't want to communicate with anyone. And that's my other agenda to Sydney. To be alone for a bit. It's a habit of mine. Good or bad, I tend to retreat into a world of my own. That is truly the single-child syndrome. The tendency to deal with life in solitude.
So yes. Right now my priority is to live a single's life and trust God to provide a mate if I should have one at all. And He will provide the best for me.
