It had been disappointing for me thoroughly to know that Blue Tide was not selected to compete in any of the categories for the Silver Screen Award. Not even cinematography. It's a bit of a slap in my face and I know that familiar resentment that welled up inside me knowing that other thesis films had more than one nomination. It is unfair, to me at least. And I'm so conscious of the constant comparisons I'm making about awards and jobs that it's entrapping me.
I really want to get out of this and only think about my personal responsibility as a filmmaker. In God's eyes, awards count for nothing. And it is He who equips the filmmaker for the making. I just need that to be out of my mind and in my heart. Then all these getting or not getting awards and recognition business will stop distracting me.
I wish there will be someone who would share the dream of devoting film for a good cause. To make stories concerning social issues and to spread the gospel. People may all have their personal visions in film, many more ego-stroking than others. Filmmakers are already far and few, let alone finding one with an equal vision. But I'm certain that I can't do this alone.
Saw this really nice poem
If we pursue mere earthly gain,
We choose a path that ends in pain;
But joy remains within the soul
When we pursue a heavenly goal. —D. De Haan
