I've pretty much given in to the teeny-bopper cheesy idea of adding a wish list to my blog. Just so that I know what I'm saving for. It looks like a list I'll never be able to fulfill. At least not, considering the kind of pay I'm drawing. I've never been paid so little in my life and that's kind of ironic cos I'm holding a Bachelor's now. I'm paid less than when I had just a Diploma.
Don't like the way I'm feeling now. Firstly because I'm still nursing my wounds of rejection and losing. Secondly, I'm troubled by the very film that's keeping me motivated to slog in this industry. I've been warned over 10 times that its not the kind of film that I can just simply say I wanna make it and then just go ahead and do it. There're a lot of safety issues, especially the safety of my subject that I have to consider. The stakes are high and the worst consequences have been spelt out to me. I feel like this is some kind of a test to see how much I'm willing to risk so that the lives of some may be improved or even saved. Whatever it is, this film has to be made.
Well anyway, not waking up positively these days. And like I said to many, can't wait for September to end. Been having a lot of weird dreams too.
Zzz.
