Dinner and drinks are a joy. I like Blue Mist. First, because it's near office. Second, it serves kick-ass Baileys. So the evening run before which almost had me unconscious was down to waste. I seem to be eating too much these days. Low-calorie food for the win.

I have no idea what to do with my life.. again. I hereby announce that I will be leaving my current job in 2 months. I wish to be a writer. But hope is all seeping away. I admit that I can be the most pessimistic person on earth. I dare not fly my hope banner high because whenever I do that, something will come along and rip it apart. And I'd come crashing down. So, I might as well not bother to fly that banner and accept rejection again. It's not new to start with. How timely that we had just completed a study on rejection.

I need retail from Daiso. I know some cute things that I wanna get. But I'm banned from shopping for the month of April. Boohoo. Can't wait for GSS.

Today I found out that almost all my BSF mates are newly-weds or pregnant or mothers of toddlers. =\ So that's their definition of young ladies. Ok fine, we're all young considering eternity ahead of us.

For those of you who haven't any idea what I'm talking about, I joined the Bible Study Fellowship International ladies class (BSF for short). And this is the 2nd week I'm attending. It has been thoroughly enriching and I am enjoying it. Therefore I recommend it if you have one weekday night to spare.

grrr... irritated..

Its hard to respect grandma because she lives and shoots her mouth like everyone owes her a living. How bout appreciating what you have and I'll be a lot less annoyed.

And its like the first in a long time I heard grandpa used vulgarities. Right. So now I'm not alone. I am supposed to be shocked and worried and start praying or something but all I can do now is harbour in irritation and ask God to pull me out of it.

I have so totally given up on coaxing her again. Why should I? I don't owe her anything more than what I am already doing.

Irritated.. irritated.. irritated

I just received an email that our MSN groups is gonna get deleted if no one goes on it for the next 14 days. Ok that's nice. So how am I supposed to convince people to go there when they don't even come for usual Kaleo.. and egroup?

People if you read this, you're hearing the frustrations of one who is getting discouraged rapidly not as a Kaleo leader but as a member. If you're in a group and you faithfully turn up day in and out DESPITE your fatigue and frustrations of the week, how do you feel each week seeing no one turns up except 3 or 4 other familiar faces.

And discouragement comes in many forms. Seeing others putting so many things ahead of time planned for God makes me want to do the same. Why should I bother about Friday nights and Sunday afternoons? I should just go do something better.

I should be and will be understanding to valid reasons and still uphold as many in prayer as possible but there's a limit.

Photos of WSD's anniversary is out. Yay.




So unglam..


Caught by surprise

Actually, whatever you see is just us celebrating my birthday. Photos of the main event need severe editing and therefore will probably never be posted.

Here's a cool pic

That's the view from our window. Looks just like Day After Tomorrow. By the way, no editing except resizing was done to this picture.

What happens when you can't get over the hurt in the past? Is there such a thing as giving up because you're still plagued with the sin of bearing grudges, being unforgiving, being paranoid and petty?

Not everyday can be a fairytale but not everyday should be a nightmare. But if I'm living in the shadow and almost giving up on trying, what shall I do?

When days pass and nothing improves, shouldn't we let go of it and find something else that's better? Isn't that logical?

But love blinds and everything is hidden; the rage, the ugliness, the hate, the pretence.

I want to break free. Maybe I'll fall into deeper darkness, maybe I'll learn to find the light. But for now, I shall swim with the shadows entangling me.

Happy birthday to me.. I'm no longer 21. Now I'm seriously aging.

Today, I look back and marvel at the greatness of God. The one who created me 8,030 days ago. Though I'm flawed in countless ways, His love is unfailing.

The verses I will still hold dearly

Habakkuk 3:17-18
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines;
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

And a big thank you to the people who made this day special. Thanks for all the little celebrations, the cakes and the gifts. You made me feel blessed.

Today I lived like a taitai ^^ and all within the 200-dollar budget.

Nizhen makes a good shopping companion. THe deal gets better cos we'll willingly spurge on food, once in a while. So lunch was good food at a nice Japanese place. And then off to the shops that I've not seen for a long time.

After visiting almost every building along Orchard, we settled for manicure at NailzStory in heeren. Absolutely love the manicurist. She's a lovely girl with good skills. The nail saloon is actually hidden in a lingerie boutique that sells dildos a little too openly. It just makes the shop seem strange. But the manicure was good enough for that strangeness to bother me.

So here I am back at home feeling all satisfied with another 3 off my wishlist. Tomorrow, shopping for sports attire with Terence. This is one of those rare occurences. You don't get to see Terence shop everyday.

Arrgh Earthquake! My computer went left and right and I thought I was dreaming. Note that earthquakes are getting nearer to home. Talk about end of the world. Revelations just seem to be living itself out.

I hate audit. It is a waste of time. It won't be if they'd give me added bonus for agreeing to put myself under scrutiny. Now I'm no different from one studying for a test.

In times like this, when the question of what to do with my life pops up, I look back at the era of my life when my passion could soar. Dancing.

My greatest regret is not picking up where I left off. A pity our society is so 'practical' that performing arts isn't even money-making, that being the dominant reason why I tried to kill the passion.

The more I think about it, the more I wanna enrol into a dance class and get myself back in dancing. Profesisonally or not, that depends on many varying factors.


I made that. One piece of steak is missing cos Terence couldn't wait. And there was fish too. But anyway, food no matter how simple takes effort. So here's a toast to chefs.

No one had food poisoning within 24 hours so technically I pass.

It really is a miracle that I have come this far.
Without a hope without a prayer without a guiding star.
In spite of my nativity and many dreams betrayed,
I know I would not be here now but for Mistakes I Made

For Mistakes I Made
Who knows who I might be
Some other heart some other soul
Some other destiny
But for the times I took a wrong turn unafraid
I might have missed it all
But for Mistakes I Made

So many times I've tried to change things out of my control
The jealousy and all the rage that swallowed me up whole
The years that I spent loving those who did not feel the same
The times I didn't trust myself with only me to blame

For Mistakes I Made
Who knows where I might be
Some other place some other time
Some other destiny
But for the times I took a wrong turn unafraid
I might have missed it all
But for Mistakes I Made

These things have taught me what is real
How to laugh how to cry how to love without regret and
when to say hello..or goodbye

I know whatever comes my way my dues have all been paid.
For you would not be in my life,
but for Mistakes I Made

For Mistakes I Made
Who knows who I might be
Some other heart some other soul
Some other destiny
But for the times I took a wrong turn unafraid
I might have missed it all
But for Mistakes I Made
I might have missed it all
But for Mistakes I Made